When my world becomes more important to me then yours.....

    When I realise that my world becomes more important to me then yours....

    Time to become selfish....

    Time to love myself.....

    Happiness is when you in complete understanding with your world

Love is gone

Overworked...

   

    Overworked Yolo! He is very tired and he needs a break :)

I am nameless who is looking for new name!

My new creature has now been born and I am looking for new name for this creature! He is adorable! He is me, just in a shape of fluffy and slightly over weight bunny/alien :) 

Here it is! 

.........waiting

Do it.

    

Constant rain between you and me

Melting away....

Relationships

      

          No one said it was easy 

          It takes two to tango..

         

Holbeck

Holbeck....I drew that last night 

Soon I won't be leaving in this area.

I will miss it and it will be always in my heart...

Fiction

   Sometimes it just have to be this way... 

   Inspired by song Fiction by The xx

Small cats

    My love to cats is endless. Small cats just came to mind to me today and I had to draw it. They are so small and so cute. This picture was made just to make everyone smile and I hope it worked.  

It's all about yellow

    This is how I stay warm in this cold weather...by doing little drawings of yellow dots and yellow lines. It is all about yellow colour....

The secret of morning glory

   This was done specially for a very good friend of mine. He came up with this idea that every morning sun rises because of morning glory...I could not resist, I just had to doodle it..so here it is! The secret of morning glory has now been found! 

Today I need sun.....

   Today I felt so cold..

   I need SUN...

   I am like a flower that needs warmth....

Things I learn about myself...

I saw this brilliant movie today that make me feel and see things differently today. It was love and passion between two femals. It was so intense and beautiful. It was so powerful as well. 

Love is same for everyone and although I am not lesbian, I almost felt like I was. I almost fall in love and felt what they felt. It was pretty amazing. 

The acting was very good. Movie was very graphical and some sexual sense were pretty intense and very visual. I think it needed to be that way. Harsh and realistic. 

I loved main actress she was so adorable and she had the most cutest face I have ever seen. 

I am inspired and amazed....

Old toy...

       

       We buy a new toy and we love it with all our heart. We speak to it, laugh with it, share our dreams and ideas with it. We take it everywhere we go with us. Somehow we think that this toy will be never replaceable and we have such a strong bond with it. We think it is the best toy in the world....

       Till we find a new toy and then we are in love with again. Old toy is still there but it is just not as interesting to us anymore. We still love it and care about it in some ways and would not want to loose it, but we are now bored of it. We want something new. New toys always looks so beautiful and inriging. There are still so many new thins to learn and discover about them. It excites us. Old toy was good for old times and you shared happy times toghether, but now it's hidden away in the closet...

      Time passes. In our mind that toy is still there for us, just hidden. However one day looking for it we can't find it. We are told it was given to some kid and it has a new home now. Noe we only have memories and suddenly we feel sad.

      We are sad, but not because we want it back. We are sad because it doesn't belong to us anymore...

Freedom..

    You are free to do what you want....

    You are free to be who you want to be....

    You are free...

Different kind of birds....

    There are different kind of birds...

 

    But at the end they are all the same....

    

I grew my hair for you...

    I grew my hair for you....

    

    It was my gift to you...

    

Alone with my music...

Music is my soul.

Music helps me to find my creativity...

It helps me dream...

It helps me feel...

It inspires me...

It helps me find myself when I am lost...

It helps me feel..

Today I cried...

I drew this black bird because today I feel smaller and darker inside. I feel like there is only myslelf with my thoughts. Today I cried....

Today is just one of those days when I am being reminded of my past. I am sad, but it is just an emotion and I will overcome this. I am sad, but I am not scared of being sad. Today I have cried and let my emotions out. It is in human nature to cry. We have got to cry time after time. Sometime after crying you feel alive again. It is just had to be done in order to smile again. A step to a smile.

Sometimes emotions are good. We are alive. We want to feel and to express how we feel. We should not ever hold our pain inside. We should let it free...

I feel what I feel and I am not ashamed of showing it. 

Create and Inspire...

After boredom at work I came home and finally found myself at the table with a pen. 

My task is to create. No matter how. My task is to poor my ideas on to paper and draw anything that comes to my mind. 

Today is little sketch of my cat on the couch. This is where the diary of my life begun and I should not stop...

Make my day brighter...

I found this incredible creation another week at Leeds market! I could not help it, I had to frame it! It was so uplifting and biZzare! Creativity within us! Some people may consider this to be distasteful and tacky...however I will disagree and say that we all have out prospective on what is in trend nowdays.

Somehow I believe that this bike was not made for fashion purpose, but purely because someone wanted to make their life more colourful and can't be anything wrong with that. Colours makes us happy! We love colours! Seeing this bike that day made me happy, because it was different and very bright! 

So we should go with a flow and do what we want to do and if we want to re-design our clothes or bikes in biZzare colours and shapes we should do it! It's fun! 

Musical pill

 

Thursday night me and my friends went to see absolutely amazing and inspiring band Mum...

I didn't really know what I was going to see to be fair and I didn't know what to expect, however I totally loved it. It was truly amazing. There were a mixture of so many musical instruments put together, it was so beautiful...

Sometime best moments comes when you least expecting them and this was one of them. I am happy that I didn't research much into their music and was pleasantly surprised. 

This music is very inspirational and creative and this is exactly what I need now in my life. 

So I guess it was a perfect inspirational pill for me :) 

Something real...

I just watched this great and inspirational movie called Fracnies Ha. My friend advised me to watch it but I never came around to it....till now...

I loved it! I want to share this quote with you because it's so beautiful and so touching. Some people may think it's too cheesy. I don't care, because I am hopeless romantic and honest about it. I love this words, because their are deep and alive!

" 

It’s that thing when you’re with someone and you love them and they know it, and they love you and you know it, but it’s a party! And you’re both talking to other people and you’re laughing and shining and you look across the room and catch each other’s eyes. But…but not because you’re possessive or it’s precisely sexual but because that is your person in this life. And it’s funny and sad but only because this life will end. And it’s this secret world that exists right there in public unnoticed that no one knows about. It’s sort of like how they say that other dimensions exist all around us, but we don’t have the ability to perceive them. That’s…that’s what I want out of a relationship or just life, I guess.

 

Frances Handley (Greta Gerwig) in Frances Ha "

Simple bad choices.

Sometimes you just have that feeling...don't do it, but you still do it. So I rushed from work in to town to see my friend. I got completely drenched from rain. Eventually my coat got really wet too and by the end I was so cold I was all shaking. We still end up going to German market. German market looked very empty and cold. I was not in the mood any longer due to the cold rain/snow weather outside and not cheap prices inside. We chatted and then decided to leave the place. I got myself a pretzel and then run to the bus stop. Unlucky for me I missed first bus and again was standing in the rain for yet another 15 cold minutes....eventually I got home...why did I go out on the first place? moral of the story is to always listen to your inner voice. It is never wrong. Sometimes you just have to say no to some things and just do what is best for you. Sometimes it is better spend time in your own company. If other people enjoy your company, you should enjoy it too, right?

Finally I am home in my warm bed and going to go to sleep now. I am happy. I know I got cold and felt a bit down, but now I learned my lesson :) 

Listen to your guts. 

Big brother is watching you..

I went to see this amazing play. The atmosphere was really good and I felt really engaged with actors. I felt very strong connection and was really moved by this piece of work. 

My emotions were strong when Watson Smith met that girl and finally they were open about their feelings towards each other. I had goosebumps all over my skin and felt really touched by it. This part of the play was really instance and remind me part of my life. Somehow I felt like I knew what they felt towards each other and I have been there myself in exact same situation in the past. 

Big brother is watching you. Maybe some people will only see it as fiction, but I believe there is more to this. This is a reality. Maybe things already happening  around us and we just choose not to see them and be robots....

It is a strong and moving story. It gives you after shock and it makes you think. It makes you wonder and it most importantly it makes you questioning things. Real or not real it dosent matter. We all have our own opinions on today's government I am not gonna debate about this now....maybe in my other blogs. However it is very strong work and I think everyone should watch it. 

So if you are in Leeds. Check it out. It will worth your money.

There is no tomorrow.....there is today!

I have started this blog again to get myself motivated and finally get back into my art. I always promised to others that some day soon I will draw again. I always say tomorrow. However tomorrow doesn't exits when we don't have today. I  keep promissing and finding exicuses to not do something that I really enjoy doing so much. Am I scared? Yes I think I am. However in this blog I want to be honest with myself and you guys. I am open and honest and here to say that by posting inspiring things on here I am here to motivate myself.

I gave myself a word that I will keep posting things on here to help me find myself again. I believe we all have purpose in life. We are here to create, love, inspire, build, draw, protect, play, cook, write, sing.....everyone has a purpose and I am going to find mine.

Someone once said that to be truly happy within yourself you will need to find your purpose in life...

Now I am on the path of finding myself and what is my real reason of being here...my goal is to start drawing and express my feelings and thoughts through art.....because everyday I can create something new and be inspiration to myself and others.

So today has already started. 

Come home to you....

Come home to you and you always give me hugs! Here is me and my cat again! Love is in the air! Like all we argue, but actually we have best friendship ever! You are always there for me and I am always there for you. We are perrrrrfect together :)

German Market

Unfortunately my Instagram kept crashing last night and even could not get even one picture from last night. However I must say I loved it. I love German market! Great food, great atmosphere and of course glue wine! Totally love it! I guess it's just brings that festive feeling with it and you see a lot of happy faces! German hot dog and glue wine for me, that makes my day! Plus last year I have discovered absolutely amazing coated almonds! They small so good that you want to buy them all :) 

So don't spend time wondering what you should do tonight if you live in Leeds or Manchester! Go and check out German market! It's amazing experience and you can come out with some goodies as well. I tend to come out with little blue or red glue wine cup! It's amazing!!! I promise soon I will have a collection!! 

For now I just can't wait till I am there next time! Or and don't forget to bring along your friends with you, because that is what makes it extra special!            

Another day

Dark. Gloomy. Loud music in my ears. Bus stop. Another working day. Usual people walking around....

Life is happening in this song...

http://youtu.be/rVqAdIMQZlk 

Discovered this magical tune. Somehow despite this horrid name of deadring....when I listen to this music it makes me think of loads of people rushing through busy town. Everyone seem to be very busy, but at the same time relax. Life is happening...

Kids and me....

I like children. 

However I think the fact that I don't have any of my own yet is not just because my life turn out to be that way. I think we know when we ready. I was never fully ready to have them. Plus I am the biggest child at 27 you will ever meet! 

I want to draw with them and be silly. I want to dance with them and be childish. The problem is that I will still want to be a child in that play. I am child who never learnt yet how properly to be an adult. 

Yes all my friends....well not all but majority have kids and deeply married by now. I mean deeply. We should always be ourself and to do what we want to do. 

One day I will be a mother possibly, for now I need to find myself and create. 

These are the things that make me happy now. 

Kids we love them. However love is not just enough. We have got to be completely happy with our life and achievements. We have got to be complete before we bring another soul into this world. 

Can we see our future....

A few month before my life has completely changed. I found this little drawing on website and even had it as my background at on my Facebook account. They say you don't know how you will feel or don't know your future. I think we do. The girl in the picture looked so much like me, that in a month time she become me......coincidence? Somehow I don't believe in coincidence......

Never focus on your past

Memories...can we actually erase them...

I remember that You.... my blue friend was a part of my past...the past I may want to remove, but if I do this you won't be with me anymore and I won't learn those silly and important things I have learned now. My past is me. My past is inside of me. Memories are there. They are strong, vivid. I can feel them. Touch them. However...everyday they become less visible, less important. They played their role in my life now. Now they are free to be just memories. 

Tomorrow you were born...

Tomorrow is your birthday and this is a 6th year you are not around with me anymore. However I know you are looking after me. I know you won't ever let me totally loose my head and you will inspire me to be better person through my dreams. I just wanted to say happy birthday for tomorrow. Wherever you are now. You. You will always be here. In my heart. Locked forever and deeply loved. 

Totally long.

I am so so so so happy! 

5 months of hard working of growing my hair has now payed off! My hair is now officially long and beautiful! All I needed to grow them faster was cocoanut oil, olive oil, egg yolk and of course nexus end hair treatment so my ends don't look dry! Also I have stopped using any straighteners! No more harm to my beautiful hair! I brush them a lot too! Love your hair and they will love you back :) 

You are blue and I like it.

Dear Rio, 

My love to is unconditional. I love how we end being together in this big wonderful and colourful world. Your face makes me smile all the time. My morning without you is dull. You are grey-test friend ever! I love you my soul-cat! 

Over you I am

Innocent face. 

I feel like this face can tell so much. I feel like sometimes by being open with some people about my life I am clearing my thoughts out of my system and somehow able to move on.